Return of the crack
‘And the Spurs go marching on,’ writes John Cross of the Daily Mirror.
‘There is so much talk about Mauricio Pochettino needing to win a trophy and yet this result is one to make the rest of Europe sit up and take notice.
‘For Spurs to beat the Bundesliga leaders twice, putting four past them in the process, is a remarkable achievement, and a real sign of progress as it is the furthest Pochettino has been in the Champions League.’
So much for a team that ‘cracks when the heat is on’ and ‘crumbles under pressure’.
See how silly you look when you misrepresent quotes?
Finally, it’s happened to me
Neil Ashton was similarly impressed by Tottenham, who ‘have finally sussed out these European nights’.
Finally? They had ‘re-invented the sport’ in November 2017. And were the new Busby Babes in February 2018.
Don’t tell us you got a little carried away…
Spursy shore
Writes Dave Kidd in The Sun:
‘In London early yesterday a couple of travelling Spurs fans were debating whether their trip was worth such an early alarm call, given their team’s healthy first-leg advantage.
‘”I remember when we were 3-0 up at half-time against Man United and lost 5-3 – and that was with only 45 minutes to go,” said one – and his mate nodded in sage agreement.
‘But that classic capitulation was way back in 2001 and concepts of Spursiness have been largely banished since then – especially in the five years of Pochettino’s reign.’
Except in April 2016, when Dave Kidd wrote of a Pochettino team that had ‘succumbed to a rare glimpse of that age-old Tottenham flakiness’ by putting in ‘the sort of performance seasoned fans were always secretly dreading’.
The headline to that Daily Mirror piece included the word ‘Spursy’, because of course it did.
And let us not forget Kidd’s Sun colleague Charlie Wyett, who described them as ‘the great bottle jobs of English football’ just a couple of weeks ago.
But yeah, ‘largely banished’ – except when someone needs a headline.
Weird second mention of the day
Writes Matt Dunn in the Daily Mirror:
‘Harry Kane silenced the Westfalenstadion with a stunning strike to fire Spurs into the Champions League quarter-finals.
‘It was the England strike star’s 24th goal in European competition and earned him the club record previously held by Jermain Defoe.’
It’s not quite ‘Frenchless manager‘, but ‘England strike star’ is great.
Touchline go
Mediawatch has long been fascinated with just how far local newspaper websites will go to spin a story into something concerning the club they report on.
The Manchester Evening News are particularly good for this. Take this week’s rule changes that will soon come into effect in the Premier League, for instance. The headline to their story was ‘New Premier League rule changes which could affect Manchester United and Man City’, as if only those two clubs will be subject to them. Textbook.
The Liverpool Echo bring us an absolute doozy on Wednesday. If you thought Mauricio Pochettino’s two-match touchline ban for Tottenham means nothing to Liverpool, you are sorely mistaken.
‘Liverpool handed Premier League title race boost as Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino handed ban,’ reads a quite literally overhanded headline.
It does rather feel as though you’re clutching at straws now, guys.
If you’ve got it…
Pochettino will be furious at Liverpool being ‘handed’ a ‘Premier League title race boost’ at his expense. But wait until he reads the MailOnline as he surely does every single day.
‘Bare-chested Tottenham stars flaunt ban on dressing room selfies after beating Borussia Dortmund after Mauricio Pochettino told them to put cameras away until they won a trophy’
The absolute f***ing cheek of these lads, ‘plastering their celebrations over social media’. Who do they think they are?
Of course, we all remember that ‘Pochettino banned his players’ from indulging in such nonsense back in November, and he will therefore be incensed by ‘the scenes’ that unfolded on Tuesday evening. Which does make one picture posted by Jan Vertonghen and a video on Serge Aurier’s Instagram sound rather exciting.
As a reminder, here is what Pochettino said about these despicable celebrations four months ago:
“Obviously if you win a trophy like I did when I was a player, it is time to celebrate. Of course, show the fans you are happy, it’s fantastic – but when you win something special.
“I accept people need it. It is how you feed your ego and I accept it is a new world. But I am of the older generation and, personally, I don’t like them. This is my mentality. I accept new technology but I try to keep a bit of that away. I love to celebrate the things with your team-mates but I love to celebrate in private and not make it public.
“Personally, I don’t like it. For me, this is my mentality and I don’t want to say it’s right or wrong.”
It doesn’t sound like he banned anything. More that he grew up without mobile phones and social media.
Sorry, what are we thinking? Curse the ‘Tottenham stars’ who ‘flaunted’ this (non-existent) ‘ban’!
Herr style
The Sun will never not be fascinated by/obsessed with foreign countries.
Here is tomorrow’s @SunSport back page: Solskjaer hopes PSG bottle it again | @ncustisTheSunhttps://t.co/PCK3qrfn6x pic.twitter.com/k4QL4C05IC
— Sun Sport (@SunSport) March 5, 2019
Wily veteran
‘And it was a kick in the wotsits for cocky Sergio Ramos…’ – The Sun.
Penis.
‘They reportedly fell in love’
Speaking of The Sun, could someone please inform them that it is indeed 2019?
‘Retired footballers who scored with sexy younger WAGs – including Ian Rush, David Ginola and Neil Ruddock,’ reads the headline to a quite sensational piece on their website.
Here are just some of the highlights of this fine piece of journalism:
‘FOOTBALLERS may retire, go grey and age, but that doesn’t stop them from scoring with young beauties.’
‘Some of the English football’s best have managed to land themselves stunning WAGs, even after they’ve hung up their boots.’
‘They even set up up their own consultancy business together, which shows love knows no bounds.’
But our favourite part comes in the final four paragraphs about David Seaman and his wife, Frankie Poultney.
‘Even though they clearly get on like a house on fire, it’s fair to say David, 55, and Frankie, 46, initially got off to an icy start.
‘That’s because they met on reality TV show Dancing On Ice all the way back in 2008.
‘They reportedly fell in love on the show’s live tour, and tied the knot in 2015 at Dormy House in the Cotswolds.
‘She’s certainly in safe hands with Arsenal and England’s former No.1.’
Good lord.
BREAKING
“It looks like it’s a two-horse race” – Michael Owen on the Premier League title, Goal.com.
More as we get it.
Recommended reading of the day
Craig Hope interviews Sean Longstaff about his mam and his Xbox.
Stuart James on clinical Tottenham.
Gabriele Marcotti on Real Madrid.
