Big Kidd
Tottenham’s admittedly incredible new stadium has sent everyone mental. In a crowded field, Dave Kidd in The Sun must surely take top honours.
‘If they’d rebranded the team Disneyland Hotspur and had an animated mouse replacing Harry Kane at centre-forward then it wouldn’t have seemed out of place.’
It really, really would.
Warming to his theme
More from Kidd: ‘It has more in common with a theme park than the old-school spit-and-sawdust charm of the original.’
The new football stadium is still a football stadium.
Comparison site
The bloke from the Go Compare ads sang at the opening ceremony for Disneyland Tottenham Hotspur’s new ground. This was an open goal.
‘GO COMPARE: There seems to be no comparison at all between the old White Hart Lane and the brand spanking new £1billion version.’ The Sun
‘SPURS’ £1BILLION NEW HOME IS BEYOND COMPARE’ Daily Mail
Not every strike found the target, though, Martin Samuel contriving to Sissoko it high into the (absolutely massive) stands elsewhere in the Mail.
‘The night had begun with an opening ceremony – choirs, bands and a Tottenham-supporting tenor by the name of Wynne Evans, which was ironic considering Tottenham haven’t had a tenner to spend in over a year now.’
Alanis wants a word, fella.
Favourite Son
Tottenham’s first game at the new stadium was quite an occasion and everyone seemed to enjoy it, with even Palace playing the role of guests impeccably.
And with a much-needed if not utterly convincing win for Spurs, the match reports almost wrote themselves. To the extent that most of them were almost identical.
Who scored the first goal in the new stadium, and how much did it cost?
‘Son Heung-Min made history by scoring the first competitive goal at Spurs’ stunning £1billion stadium.’ Paul Jiggins, The Sun
‘Tottenham’s favourite Son celebrated an “amazing” feeling as he became the first player to score at the club’s £1billion new stadium.’ Darren Lewis, Daily Mirror
‘Son Heung-Min scored the historic first goal at the grand opening of Tottenham’s new £1billion stadium.’ Matt Barlow, Daily Mail
‘Son Heung-Min scored the first competitive goal at Tottenham Hotspur’s new home last night to help ensure a winning start to life at their £850million stadium.’ The Times
Feed the goat
Spurs’ opening game at the new stadium presented Sky Sports with a problem. While the big event of the night was clearly going off in North London, they were showing Manchester City’s inevitable procession against Cardiff.
Pre-match, Sky hedged their bets by flitting between build-up from the Etihad and shots from WHL2. Jamie Redknapp and Shaun Goater were the pundits, and Goater in particular appeared to be put on the spot by discussing the challenges that Spurs’ players would face at the new ground.
‘It will take time for them to learn the whole routine of getting to the new ground, what’s the best way to drive there and things like that,’ Goater suggested.
Only one of the 14 Tottenham players who featured against Palace had joined the club since the previous game at White Hart Lane 22 months ago. Finding the ground probably won’t be such a big issue for this particular stadium ‘move’.
Grand slam
‘Tottenham open new stadium with spectacular ceremony – but fans slam “embarrassing” show’ barfs a cake-and-eat-it headline on the Mirror website.
Spurs fans are unhappy after finally making their move to the new ground and getting a much-needed win? No pleasing some people.
Except, they weren’t. Even in the cesspit of Twitter, the Mirror still seem to have only managed to find rival fans taking the mick. ‘Rival fans mock rivals on Twitter’ is apparently the big news then in an article that itself describes the ’embarrassing show’ of the headline as ‘the perfect housewarming party’, a ‘spectacular opening ceremony’ and ‘a fine spectacle and… fitting prelude to the historic occasion’.
Spurs fans were also apparently ‘plied with flags’. Can you ply someone with flags?
Red mist
We’re forced into the position of defending Jamie Redknapp against a bizarre piece on the Daily Express website.
‘Liverpool fans will NOT like Jamie Redknapp’s Man Utd and Arsenal claim about Man City’ says a headline short on sense but containing the names of four very large football clubs.
Quite why Liverpool fans should be unhappy that Redknapp Jr understandably said on Sky Sports that in his perfectly reasonable opinion Manchester City are better than Manchester United’s treble winners or Arsenal’s Invincibles isn’t immediately clear.
Until…
‘JAMIE REDKNAPP has seemingly ruled former side Liverpool out of the Premier League title race by claiming rivals Manchester City are the best team in the competition’s history.’
Let’s see what he actually said then.
‘We’re talking about one of the best sides in the world. For me, the best side I’ve seen in the Premier League.
‘I played against the Invincibles, we saw the United team that were fantastic. I just think this side are so good, total football. I watched them against Fulham at the weekend, they come at you from every angle.
‘Every player on the field had a shot on goal, it’s total football. It’s like the Dutch in the ‘70s. They are a wonderful side to watch.’
Mentions of Liverpool being out of the title race? None. Mentions of Liverpool at all? None. Has Redknapp, if anything, in fact paid Liverpool a giant compliment given they are one point behind the best Premier League team he’s ever seen? Yes.
